


Fear

by wth_am_i_writing



Series: Descent [5]
Category: VIXX
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, POV Second Person, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-14 17:29:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16917219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wth_am_i_writing/pseuds/wth_am_i_writing
Summary: Was it karma or just unfortunate luck? His smile was so sweet you’d never suspected a thing.





	Fear

**Author's Note:**

> Originally Posted on Tumblr on December 23, 2013.
> 
> Original Author’s Note: Part of the Descent Series of one Shots. Inspired by the Hyde MV. Definitely no warm feelings in this piece, and it’s very heavy. It focuses mostly on the reader character and can potentially be triggering. This is a prequel to my other Ken centric one shots, but can be read alone. For the best understanding of the situation though, it’s recommended you read “Pierce and Breathe” and “Really just Friends” and “Renewed Desire” first. This probably comes out of no where even having read those though, so it really doesn’t matter if you read those first or not.

_Does it feel good?_

It hadn’t.

_It feels good doesn’t it?_

It felt really horrible.

_The way you’re squeezing me, you must be enjoying it._

It had made you want to vomit.

_You’re already doing it with three other men, so don’t say you don’t want this. You **crave** men._

So what if you were fucking three guys? He still didn’t have the right to do what he did.

You curled tighter into Leo’s blankets. You didn’t want to be alone in your apartment after what happened—couldn’t be alone in that apartment after what happened. So you went to be alone in Leo’s apartment, but you weren’t sure it was any safer. But it wasn’t your place and that made you feel even the slightest bit better.

Thankfully Leo was away for a tournament. He didn’t have to see you in such a mess. He didn’t have to see your tear streaked face, bruised purple wrists, or dead eyes. He didn’t have to see the mess Ken had made of you. No, Leo was probably leading his team to yet another victory and getting scouts to notice him. But you wouldn’t have let him see you even if he’d been here. You couldn’t let him know what happened. Had he not been away, you’d have just holed up in a hotel. It would have felt less safe, but at least it wasn’t your place.

N was also a no go. It was the opening weekend to his dance company’s new show. The last thing he needed was another problem on his hands. He’d been stressing for weeks, and been so busy you’d almost not been able to talk to him in two weeks. He’d given you a ticket for yesterday’s performance but you never made it out your door. Ken had already had you detained for at least 24 hours when the curtain opened on N’s stage. No doubt some of those incoming texts and calls were N trying to get a hold of you, but you didn’t want to touch your phone because you knew most of it was from Ken.

And Ravi… How would he react? You honestly didn’t want to find out, and you didn’t want him to find out what happened at all. But Ravi had gone back to his parents for his little sister’s birthday and you didn’t have a key to his place. It would have been useless to try his place under those circumstances. Besides, you were completely uncertain about where you stood with him. Of all your relationships, the one with Ravi was the most complicated.

Ken had chosen the perfect weekend, but what else could you expect from a stalker as meticulous as him? You hadn’t even suspected he’d been the person harassing you via text message and social media for the last 6 weeks. You’d never have thought that he was the one that’d been following you home, following you to others’ homes. The pictures he’d taken were terrifying. He’d gotten into your room so _easily_.

It was probably stupid not to call the police, but they wouldn’t be on your side. Everything seemed to be stacked against you. Everything would come out and then where would you be? You knew the system would take Ken’s side over yours.  You knew that once everyone found out you’d be alone. You still hadn’t showered, but boy did you want to. Had Ken disposed of the sheets after you ran? You pulled Leo’s covers tighter, cocooning yourself deeper into the blankets. If only when you emerged you could leave those nasty memories behind.

Everything ached. Everything hurt. You couldn’t feel his hands, but his words still rung fresh in your mind. You kept replaying them over and over again, screaming the things you wish you could have screamed if not for the gag he’d shoved in your mouth.

_You know, you aren’t the first woman I’ve done this to._

You felt sorry for the others, whoever they were.

_But I never loved any of them. Maybe I just chose them for lust._

Rape wasn’t about lust. He just wanted to control the pretty little things he saw in front of him.

_You know, there’s something about you. Something that draws men to you._

You couldn’t see what it was. You never could.

_Maybe its because you give off a dangerous vibe. You’re a bad girl._

You may not have been the type mothers wanted their sons with, you may have done some questionable things, you may have not been the nicest of girls, but that didn’t give him the right to try to break you like he did.

_You’re a naughty girl. I **love** it. **I love you**. You drive me **wild**._

You gagged remembering the words, just like you’d gagged when he first said them.

You needed to cancel your apartment contract and find a new place. You needed to change your phone number. You needed to get a hold of yourself and pick up the pieces. No one could know. No one could know. _No one could know_. You started sobbing again.

Ken was Leo’s best friend. There was no getting away from him. As much as you wanted to avoid him, you didn’t think you could. Was Leo even aware of what Ken was like? His bright, sheepish smile and funny words hid a darkness you never imagined was possible.

With a deep breath, you pulled yourself together once again. You pushed up, letting the blankets fall off, and crawled over to where your phone was. You pressed the home button, illuminating the screen. 46 new messages. 5 missed calls. Most were from Ken’s second phone, but a few were from N and Leo.  You scrolled through them, barely comprehending the messages. You didn’t want to. You knew that most of them were just Ken harassing you further.

The phone buzzed in your hand, startling you enough to drop it on the ground. Heart racing, you bent down to pick it up, fearing that it might be another message from Ken. It was a new text from Leo. They’d won the game. Another buzz and another text. He’d be home late because they were going out to celebrate. You placed the phone back down on the bed and cradled your head. You just couldn’t bring yourself to congratulate him. You had to figure out where to go. You didn’t want Leo to see you.

You stood and limped across his room and into the bathroom, stripping your clothes off as you went. Your reflection was hideous, but you felt like it accurately represented how you felt inside. Brushing your fingers against the bruise Leo left on your throat the other day, you wondered if this was what you got for cheating. Maybe this was karma coming back to bite you cruelly in the ass for not appreciating what you had.

Your eyes were dead; the expression on your face scared you. You were quickly sliding towards numbness, but maybe that was a good thing. You turned the shower on and slid under the warm water, letting it soak into your muscles. Scrubbing, you tried to wash the memories away. But even when you scrubbed hard enough to rub your skin raw, it wasn’t enough. So you gave up and let the water wash the suds away.

Staring at the wall, five, ten, twenty minutes passed and the water started to run cold. You wanted to crush Ken’s balls. Whip him around by his hair like he’d done to you. Stab him in the stomach and twist the knife and watch him slowly bleed out. But none of that felt like enough to get revenge on him. Your fingers twitched and clenched into a fist as an idea crossed your mind.

You turned the water off and walked out of the bathroom, not caring that you were trailing water everywhere. You grabbed your phone and brought up your text conversation with N. You didn’t care what he’d sent you before, barely gave a glance at his concerned texts.

“ _Do you believe in curses?”_ you sent him. His reply was almost instant.

_“Where have you been? What happened? Are you ok?”_ You frowned. After a few more seconds another message arrived. _“Why are you asking about curses? What have you gotten into this time?”_

_“I wonder if they really work?”_ you sent in reply.

_“I don’t know. What’s going on?”_ N replied almost instantly.

_“Can I stay with you tonight?”_ you asked him. It was a safe place to stay, but you dreaded the confrontation. Even if he begged, you wouldn’t tell him what happened.

_“Sure, but I’ve got another performance tonight…”_ he replied, this time after a few minutes.

_“I’ll be over in a couple of hours,”_ you sent, shifting on the bed. You needed to buy new clothes and stop by a bookstore. You returned to the bathroom and dried off with a towel. You had a few pieces of clothes stored in Leo’s closet, so you dressed in those. Placing your dirty clothes in a plastic bag, you prepared to leave.

As you left the building, you dumped the bag with your clothes into one of the trash bins. You honestly didn’t care that it was the wrong one or that someone would get yelled at for it. You just wanted to be rid of them. You would stop by the bookstore first and try to find a good book on cursing. Your phone buzzed again. You pulled it out expecting it to be N, but your blood ran cold when you saw the message.

_“Like cat and mouse. I’ve found you. Bbuingbbuing~”_


End file.
